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  • Holly Sullivan

Can EFT Help My Relationship?

Updated: Sep 30, 2023


couple embracing

We all long for love, acceptance, and a sense of security in our relationships. But relationships can be challenging and complex. They require effort, commitment, and effective communication to work. When couples experience conflicts, miscommunication, or emotional disconnection, they may find themselves struggling to maintain a healthy relationship.

Fortunately, there are effective therapeutic interventions that can help couples overcome these challenges and strengthen their bonds. One intervention is Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). EFT is considered the gold standard for couples therapy. About 90% of couples experience significant improvements from the therapy. Here, we'll explore improving communication in a relationship by using EFT, along with improving your overall relationship satisfaction.

What is EFT?

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an evidence-based approach to couples therapy, developed by Dr. Sue Johnson in the 1980s. It is grounded in the understanding that our emotional connections with others are vital to our well-being, and that these connections can be disrupted by negative patterns of interaction.

EFT is a short-term, structured therapy that focuses on helping couples create and maintain a secure bond. It is based on the belief that emotional experiences are at the core of our interpersonal interactions, and that by accessing and processing these emotions, couples can develop greater intimacy and trust.

EFT helps couples:

  1. Identify and understand their negative patterns of interaction

  2. Access and process their underlying emotions

  3. Create new, positive patterns of interaction

  4. Develop greater intimacy and attachment


Benefits of EFT in Couples Therapy

  • Increased Emotional Connection

EFT is designed to help couples identify and express their underlying emotions, which can be difficult to do on your own. By working with a trained therapist, couples can learn to recognize their negative patterns of interaction and identify the emotions that are driving them.

EFT helps couples to identify the emotions that are at the root of their negative patterns of interaction. Once these emotions are recognized and expressed, couples can begin to create new, positive patterns of interaction that are grounded in emotional connection.

  • Improved Communication

Effective communication is essential to a healthy relationship. EFT helps couples to develop more effective communication skills by helping them to identify and express their emotions in a safe and supportive environment.

Through EFT, couples can learn to communicate in a way that fosters emotional connection and understanding. They can develop greater empathy for each other and learn to listen actively without judgment. This can help to reduce conflict and increase intimacy.

  • Resolves Conflict

Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but when it is not resolved, it can lead to emotional disconnection and damage the relationship. EFT helps couples to resolve their conflicts by helping them to identify and express their underlying emotions.

Through EFT, couples can learn to approach conflict in a more productive way. They can learn to identify their own emotional triggers and communicate their needs effectively. This can lead to greater understanding and resolution of conflicts, which can ultimately strengthen the relationship.

  • Increased Self-Awareness

EFT can also help couples to develop greater self-awareness. By exploring their own emotions and patterns of interaction, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their role in the relationship.

Through EFT, couples can learn to identify their own emotional triggers and patterns of behavior. This can help them to become more self-aware and make positive changes in their behavior that can improve the relationship.

  • Creates a Secure Attachment

The ultimate goal of EFT is to create a secure attachment between partners. A secure attachment is characterized by emotional connection, trust, and a sense of safety.

EFT can help you to develop a secure attachment with your partner and learn better marriage communication, where you each feel loved and secure. By working with a trained therapist, couples can learn to create new, positive patterns of interaction. If you’re interested in finding an EFT trained therapist near you, search on ICEEFT.com.



--Author Holly Sullivan is a certified EFT therapist practicing in Phoenix, Arizona. She offers both in-person and virtual sessions for Arizona residents. She is passionate about being a couples therapist and helping relationships create secure, loving connections.




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